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Monday, March 20, 2006


LATEST SCANDAL!!!

Pansy De La Flora, 16, is reported to be totally over her beau 'Benny Boy', who is a renowned life specimen used in the investigation of the social impacts of a human bean's vertical length, or lack thereof. The reason behind this Shakespearean tragedy is unsurprisingly the emergence of a third party- much taller and definitely much younger Someone (Have to be more discreet, lest some asshole come after me again). So, we see here, our little Miss De La Flora following the starry footsteps of some Hollywood celebrities by accessorising herself with a little boy toy. All for the sake of grabbing an upsized slice of superstardom? Or, is Miss De La Flora perhaps all tied up by the frivolous strings of love? You, my dear readers, shall decide for yourselves.

Meanwhile, 'Benny Boy' seems to be handling Miss De La Flora's change of height, oops sorry, I mean heart, pretty well. So far, there has been no complaints about him spraying cough syrup around maliciously, which I assume is a very pleasant sign. However, some people believe that "this is merely the beginning, before you know it, the Catastrophe of the Cough Syrup will hit us like a big yellow schoolbus and we'll all be turned into bananas!". Whoa, 'Benny Boy', you're one pitiful lovesick dude! Whatever happened to spring, when the world is mud-luscious and the little balloon man whistles far and wee? Miss De La Flora obviously does not have a single grain of romance in her.

Reminder: This publication is entirely a work of fiction. Any relevance to an actual event or person, living or dead, is purely a coincidence.


keep it SHUT; 1:51 pm


The Queen Tells It Like It Is

Her Majesty
Crowned 3rd Oct 1989
Can crack a walnut with her butt NastyLawn-mower
Pain in the arse
Be afraidBe very afraid
The current mood of chewingcorn at www.imood.com

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical or otherwise, without prior permission of the Queen.

Can You Make The Queen?
How to make a Cassandra
Ingredients:
1 part pride
1 part crazyiness
5 parts ego
Method:
Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of lovability



Hail To The Queen