The Queen's Dirty Little Secret

The Queen Regrets

2006-06-22T12:46:00.000Z

The holidays have been a stressful, surreal blur. It seems as if the last day of school was merely yesterday. And come to think about it, I haven't done much. All I've done about is think about my future and a couple of random destructive rubbish. I cannot stand studying anymore. It's not because I've adopted the 'slackitude', but it's more like my interest in certain subjects have waned. For example, I used to be a biomaniac, like you know, "Whoa! Photosynthesis totally changed my perspective on life! Now, let's read about transpiration". But now, biology is like a total drag. I've tried to understand it but I can't. All those shit about the internal structure of the freakin' hot-dog-with-mustard-looking mitochondria. You can't even see them. Why bother? Robert Hooke can salsa in his grave for all I care.

So, dropping my biology textbook as though it was a hot potato, I've decided to think about life. My life, of course. I'm way too lazy to bother about anyone else's. So far, I've done nothing meaningful or constructive in my life. At the not-so-tender age of 16, I still do not know how to swim or cycle. Honestly, I find myself more pathetic than a mealworm. At least a mealworm can eat cabbage leaves. I can't even do that without barfing like mad. I want to do something unconventional with my life. Like join the Moscow circus. Or, join Greenpeace and save the whales. But then again, I've got a feeling that the Moscow circus and Greenpeace will probably expel me after a day because I grumble too much.

After all this, I realised that thinking about my life is way more mentally taxing than mugging.

The Queen leaves

2006-06-08T14:06:00.000Z

I've decided to co-blog with Mich here-> theeighthdeadlysin.blogspot.com

May still post some random slapstick rubbish here though:)

The Queen laughs

2006-06-05T05:49:00.000Z

Got this from Mich's blog. So amusing.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Cassandra and Julian!

Louisa May Alcott, author of 'Little Cassandra and Julian', hated Cassandra and Julian and only wrote the book at her publisher's request!
Three seagulls flying overhead are a warning that Cassandra and Julian are near.
Cassandra and Julian can drink over 25 gallons of water at a time!
All swans in England belong to Cassandra and Julian.
A sixteenth century mathematician lost his nose in a duel over his love for Cassandra and Julian, and wore a silver replacement for the rest of his life!
If you cut Cassandra and Julian in half and count the number of seeds inside, you will know how many children you are going to have.
Cassandra and Julian are the only one of the original Seven Wonders of the World that still survives!
The first American zoo was built in 1794, and contained only Cassandra and Julian!
Over 2000 people have now climbed Cassandra and Julian, with roughly ten percent dying on the way down.
It's bad luck to put Cassandra and Julian on a bed.

The Queen gives thanks

2006-06-03T13:06:00.000Z

'Fat-Bottomed Girls' went smoothly, and a major part of this success goes to a few tres tres awesome people out there. I had a superb time, albeit the consternation I received upon examining the abominable state of the suite after everyone left. It was like a gigantic, gooey and gruesome mess of chips, pizzas, punch and God knows what. Sigh, boys will always be boys.

To all those who turned up and had a blast, I'm pleased to know that you had an enjoyable time. To all those who turned up and thought it sucked big time, I'm sorry to have disappointed you. To all those who didn't bother to turn up and lacked the basic courtesy of informing Mich or myself, piss off. You're unworthy of our party and we're thankful for your absence.

'Fat-Bottomed Girls' will be a dreadful bunch of chaos, tears and the occasional attempts of murder, if not for a few sensible people that made it work out fine. Admittedly, during the course of planning this party, it sometimes appears as if Mich and I do not have enough brains to fill an eggcup. I give heartfelt thanks to the following people for being there to aid the dumb and dumber:

1) Huan Qing: You're the best! There will be no party at all if not for your generosity! Words cannot express our thanks to you. I can only hope that I can repay your favour one day. It's my duty so don't you go ''Aiya, never mind la'' as usual. I won't allow for that this time.

2) Jit Yew: Without you, everyone at the party will probably sue Mich and I for starving them. You were so worried that there won't be enough food, or rather edible food. But guess what? Everything turned out fine. Even the hopelessly lousy batch of onion rings were finished at the party. (Boys eat everything. Anything, as a matter of fact.) We really appreciate your time and effort. We're eternally grateful.

3) Tim Seow: Going back and forth to get that oven toaster was a feat and you left Mich and I feeling so indebted to you. Like Jit Yew, you are the reason the guests did not face the awful doom of a grumbling, empty stomach at the party. Sorry that Mich and I could not be of much help and we had to leave the chore of preparing the grub to you and Jit Yew. If we were left to prepare them ourselves, they will undoubtedly turn out to be grub too. The truly disgusting other meaning of 'grub'.

4) Alison: You deserve a big bear hug for walking the freakin' long distance and getting the drinks with Jit Yew. I feel guilty for making you guys do that when you guys are supposed to be the guests and I am ashamed for mentally labelling you a fathead initially. Okay, maybe not too ashamed. I mean, who gets lost in Orchard??? I love you so much! Hang on, strike that previous statement. I just remembered how you refused to let me sleep by whining in my ears about the stupid air- condition, pulling the hair on my head to figure out my threshold of pain, tickling me and poking me in the ribs when I am in a pathetic state of exhaustion. After being exposed to your retardosity, I don't love you that much after all.

5) Shivana Banana: Thanks for allowing us to burden you with the pre- party I-need-an-18-year-old and why-do-we-need-a-wok-to-fry-stuff problems. Even though I still don't quite agree with the representaion of the 2 funny, pokemon-looking, stuffed devils.

6) Dickson: Who, in the world, has a birthday bash without a cake? Mich and I. Thanks for rectifying our mistake with that yummy tiramisu cake:)

7) Poppy and Caroline: You brightened up our party with drinks and paper cups (Once again, who, in the world, has a birthday bash without paper cups? Go on, guess.), as well as your bright, dazzling outfits. It's a pity that we didn't get to see much of them since you guys left early.

8) Mousey: You printed out the retro posters! We're proud of you! Even though we're not so proud of the fact that you came at like what, 8??! So we didn't get to pin them up at all. Still, we're quite proud of you.

To everyone else I've unforgivably left out, I am really apologetic. Just know that you guys are the ones that made this party a success and we love you guys for that.

The Queen loves you

2006-06-03T10:59:00.000Z

Last night, I realised something that I'd erroneously taken for granted and I was mortified. Please forgive me.

When I'm pissed off, you took my punches. When I'm breaking down, you dried my tears. When I face a crisis, you shared my burden. When I need you, you were always there for me. When I don't need you, you were always waiting around to catch me should I fall suddenly. When I hated myself, you loved me. The countless times I came to you this week, to fret and whine about the disastrous pre- party preparations. You helped in whatever you could. (Reviewing the food list, getting the music etc) You helped to make the party a success. The party you weren't attending. Yet I did not register any of these, until your bare words last night hit me hard in the head.

"Let me know if you need me. Even if you don't, you know I'll always be there for you."

I was so overwhelmed. I wasn't touched. Not really. I was ashamed. I wanted to sleep it off at the suite. I couldn't bear to reflect on my selfish ways. I felt so disgusted at myself. You were right. I only come to you when I'm faced with a problem. I should be unworthy of your care and concern after all the mean things I've said to you last night. But you swallowed it down as usual. Even if they choked you and made you gag, you swallowed it down for me, the undeserving twat.

If my life was a stage, you have always been in the backstage. You hardly let yourself be known. You never claimed any credit you deserved for the sweat, blood and tears you've constantly invested into the production, yet you were always there to ensure that even during perilous times of dark despair, the show will go on. Now, I want to take back all I've said. I don't want you in the backstage anymore.

I want you to be in the show. In my show. And this show must go on.

The Queen rejoices

2006-05-31T05:50:00.000Z

Hmm, everyone is getting emo recently. It is quite worrying. Now to all my sorrowful little walking bags of salty tears, repeat this mantra after me:

I am the unhappiest.

Good, you're all grown up now.

The Queen questions

2006-05-30T13:29:00.000Z

When you needed me,
I was always around;
Even if I was not,
I could easily be found.

The times of joy we shared,
how dear are they to you?
Or do they merely amount to a big joke,
a cure for when you're feeling blue?

Here comes a time I need you most,
when your presence is of essence;
But where art thou, my friend?
All I see is your absence.

You know what this means to me,
yet you never bother to care;
All you desire is making merry,
The sweat is never your affair.

To give is better than to receive,
how wonderfully true that can be;
But somehow, I fear I have given too much,
now there's nothing left in me.

It's time for me to review,
the truth behind our friendship;
Perhaps it was always an one-way thing,
and you just never let that slip.

Or perhaps you've grown tired of me,
and wish to seek new company;
If that is true, then I must confess,
you've hurtfully disappointed me.

The Queen understands

2006-05-25T13:34:00.000Z

.Desire.Despair.Destiny.Death.Dream.Delirium.Destruction.

The Queen tells a secret

2006-05-23T12:37:00.000Z

This is not another slapstick, laugh-my-ass-off entry to amuse myself. I promise.

So many things have transpired over the past few weeks, but I just cannot find my strength to face them. Probably because I've channeled my blood, sweat and tears into handling my Sim and her 6 boyfriends. And also because I still cannot find her a Boyfriend Sunday. Alas, I've failed.

Firstly, my little sweetpeas, I am pleased to announce that I've discovered the friggin' spawn of Adolf- Keep your little green pea pods open for Adolfa! She is a bulldozer (quite literally one, too) that evilly plans to make the lives of your 2 favourite little sweetpeas uber uber schrecklich. And the rest of the chronicles is too much of a devastating tragedy to reveal but you sorta get the gist of it. You know, just envision loads of blood, loads of bang-bang-bang and loads of cheesy 'My Little Broccoli! Save yourself!'. Well, that's what always happens in war movies. Sweetpeas, I urge you! Operation Annihilate-Adolfa must commence with dynamic dynamism! We'll reveal our supremacy by stuffing her nasal cavity with pea pods or something! Hurrah! Hurrah!

Secondly, I kinda suspect that I've bitten off more than I could chew. It's like I'm being offered one banana split but I ended up swallowing the entire Swensens cafe in one mighty gulp. Hey, that sounds friggin' delicious. Okay, no sidetracking. Sticky chewy chocolate topped with marshmallow fudge. No sidetracking. Celebrity brownie with vanilla ice-cream, whipped cream and a myriad of chocolate jimmies. NO SIDETRACKING. Okay, with a reality check in hand, let me tell you why I've landed myself in this choking situation. Michelle and I are planning a birthday party. That's it. Now here's the part you go, "OOH! AAH! GOSH! OH MY GOODNESS! SUCH DIFFICULT TIMES! MY POOR LITTLE GIRLS!" and then plant loads of disgusting, slobbery kisses onto our delicate cheeks to aid us through the dark, despairing tunnel of party- planning. Hmm. This party has better be awesome.

Last but not least, as if all of the above was just the infinitesimal bits of appetizer, I've to face the root of all evil. Eht ykaens sregnif fo Desire psarg em ylmrif. Tithigime ithigand tithigme ithigagain, Ithigi fithigind mithigyself ithigentangled bithigy trithigicky Desire, whithigo pritighovokes ithigevery chithigamber ithigof mithigy lithigonging hithigeart. I evah deirt ot nur yawa morf Desire tub Temptation sdloh em kcab, ekil a layol emirc-ni-rentrap. Thithigis emag si gnitteg gnileurg. Ithigi ithigam sithiguccumbing tithigo Desire.

Alas, I've failed.

The Queen turns dark

2006-05-12T14:21:00.000Z

I've transmogrified into one of those the-world-is-out-to-get-me, anti-establishmentarianistic teenager. The end has come. I've crossed over to the dark side.

My fair-weather friends, you ask me. How did I come to this morbid conclusion?

1) I took emo, black and white photos of Suxin's zit and actually felt smug about my accomplishments.
2) I attempted to write an emo tok essay. And most importantly,
3) I've just listened to 'Helena' by The Chemical Romance repeatedly for 2 hours.

Alas, the grotesque truth has surfaced! Very soon, I'll be sitting in the oxygen- deprived broom closet with a multi-coloured mohawk, writing an angsty poem about baboons' buttholes while having an intellectual exchange of words with my pet spider named Good Charlotte. On a lighter note, it has occurred to me how many people do not know that it's actually surprisingly easy to write an angsty poem. So, let's learn from the expert, Yours Truly.

How to write an angsty poem in 3 easy steps:
1) Scour for the dictionary for derogatory adjectives. The more, the merrier.
2) Master the one-word-on-each-line trick.
3) Sign off with a cool name. Very important as your poem may one day be published in 'The Book of Bullshit' or something.

Here's a sample (which I painstakingly composed in a minute):

I sit here with bleeding mascara,
My future an elusive question mark.
With turmoil in my soul,
So aches my heart.
The knife of life has...
Plunged.
Through.
My.
Burger.

Another literary masterpiece by Emo_Emu

SEE? How easy was that? Try writing an angsty poem today!

The Queen Complains

2006-05-02T13:53:00.000Z

I can't believe it. I'm back in the cruel old world after a week of merry-making. And I'm back BLOGGING in the cruel old world after a week of merry-making. Blogging is such a nasty little thing. Just when you thought you could break free of the convoluted web of bloggingitis, people start calling you a slacker and compels you to add your priceless words of wisdom onto an unworthy computer screen. The injustice of it all!

Okay, back to the cruel old world bit. Oh, Bei jing, Bei jing, where art thou? I totally miss every single thing in Bei jing. Okay, maybe not the hygiene standard of the lavatory (or lack thereof, to be more precise) but everything else in Bei jing is simply fantabulous. Too fantabulous that it'll be a crime for me to plainly record it on this stupid blank screen. Just imagine... The injustice of it all! Fine, I'm just being the usual blogging-slacker I am. Oh, before I forget, I cannot emphasise on the fact that the lack of a parental figure plays a major role in making my trip a tres tres fantabulous one.

Speaking of parental figures, I am rendered speechless by my mom's over-concern about the thickness of my thighs. It's unhealthy. For me, my thighs and her. Such unnecessary mental burden will eventually shatter my fragile little mind and if I ever contract some psychological disorder like the Think-Thin-Thigh Syndrome or whatsoever, you guys know who's the culprit. Apparently, after a period of dieting (which no one else but her, thought was mandatory) , my thighs have appeared thinner. The thing is, my knee area is slightly thicker than my thigh area so my legs appear just a tad crooked. Okay, strike that. Try uber weird. Sigh, talk about pleasing an inane and insane mom. The injustice of it all!

The Queen surveys

2006-04-19T13:39:00.000Z

I miss somebody right now.
I don't watch much TV these days.
I love olives.
I own lots of books.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I've watched porn movie.
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe that honesty is the best policy.
I curse sometimes.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm TOTALLY smart.
I've broken someone's bones.
I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
I hate the rain.
I'm paranoid at times.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
I have worn fake hair / fingernails / eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
I like the way that I look.
I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I think prostitution should be legalized.
I think Britney Spears is pretty.
I have a hidden talent.
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I LOVE TO SHOP!
I would classify myself as ghetto.
I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
I'm obsessed with my blog.
I don't hate anyone.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in (a) God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I like someone.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
I have at least 5 away messages saved.
I have tried alcohol or drugs before.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie.
I have avoided assignments at work/school to blog.
I enjoy some country music.
I would die for my best friends.
I think Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I watch soap operas whenever I can.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I have dated a close friend's ex.
I like surveys.
I am happy at this moment.
I'm obsessed with guys.
I go for older guys/girls, not younger
I study for tests most of the time.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I can work on a car.
I love my job.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.
I believe in prophetic dreams.
I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went to college out of state.
I am adopted.
I like sausage.
I have thrown up from crying too much.
I have been intentionally hurt by people i love.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colors.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I think school is awesome.
I think pigtails serve a purpose.
I dont know why the hell i did this thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I don't like multi-textured ice cream.
I love coaching youth sports.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I cant whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie!!
I read trashy romance novels and I am ashamed.
I love wrestling.
If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.
I'm an artist.
I have a goal to collect every Johnny Depp movie ever made.
I have an unhealthy Taco Bell obsession.
I have a crush on a cartoon character when i was young.
I have spent more on anime and manga than many spend on computers or other high end products.
I only clean my room when neccesary.
I have pointy-ended ears.
I have underwear every colour of the rainbow.
I LOVE korean dramas.
I colour-code my wardrobe.
I own more than 20 pairs of shoes.
I cry silently and get over things easily and quickly.
I love blasting linkin park at mum whenever she nags.
I love listening to jay chou music.
I love watching cartoons.
I love lame jokes.
I wish I was a tragic hero.
I hate one of my best friends but s/he has no idea.

The Queen decides

2006-04-08T09:19:00.000Z

Ooh, this is getting so exciting. Today, Bri gave me her shopping list on IM. Here's the original version:

Bri's Superb Shopping List (Guaranteed to sensationalise your trip!)

Silk scarf with little dinosaurs embroidered at the edges.
An authentic antique vase. Would prefer it if vase is hot pink in colour.
A Chinese opera mask. Must not be too scary.
Jimmy Choos. Find a pair with oriental butterflies or something to show that they were bought in China.
A Hello Kitty pencil box. I know Hello Kitty originated from Japan but Japan is like China, right?
30 packets of Oreo cookies.
A pack of fanciful Chinese New Year greeting cards.
Chinese delicacies. Keep them in a tupperware. Must be decent and edible. I don't want stewed rabbit's ears!
A poster of Jake Gyllenhaal. I'm sure they have it somewhere.
A portable, sweet little souvenir. Like a roast duck keychain or something.

Bri either has gone bananas or she simply loves tormenting me. Sometimes, when Bri says stuff like that, I worry for MY mental health. I'm quite sure it's mentally unhealthy to have friends like her.

The Queen quizzes

2006-04-06T13:32:00.000Z

Twas a tres tres boring day. Hence, I've decided to amuse myself by knowing myself better. In the end, I ended up being afraid of myself, or rather, my inner self. Such joy I've never tasted.

How Evil Are You?

You Are 64% Evil

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care. Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.

What Color Is Your Aura?

Your Aura is Green

Your Personality: You are a high acheiver who is very competitive. You're bound to reach your goals, no matter how lofty.

You in Love: Picky with high standards, it's hard to find your match. You need a man as driven as you are!

Your Career: You need a high profile, challenging career to satisfy you. Consider finance, sales, or running your own company.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Genius Jester.

Where You Lived: Iran.

How You Died: Decapitation.

How Abnormal Are You?

You Are 68% Abnormal

You are at high risk for being a psychopath. It is very likely that you have no soul.

You are at high risk for having a borderline personality disorder. It is very likely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at high risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is very likely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

You are at medium risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is somewhat likely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

Are You A Gold Digger?

You Are a Gold Digger

And a diamond digger, platinum digger, new Fendi bag digger.
You work hard to be a great girlfriend, keeping yourself sweet and sexy.
And you should be rewarded for all your gym trips and hair appointments.
That's not to say you're superfical... money just is a deal breaker.
Your dream guy is witty, handsome AND rich!

The Queen Rules

2006-03-30T13:45:00.000Z

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Disorder:	Very High
Schizoid Disorder:	Low
Schizotypal Disorder:	Low
Antisocial Disorder:	High
Borderline Disorder:	Low
Histrionic Disorder:	High
Narcissistic Disorder:	Very High
Avoidant Disorder:	Moderate
Dependent Disorder:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- -- Personality Disorders --

By the looks of that, it's a surprise I'm still alive.

The Queen Thinks

2006-03-28T13:24:00.001Z

To-Do List:

1) Love everyone like I love myself

2) Stop loving myself

3) Learn a new skill (like skydiving)

4) Try not to die while learning new skills

5) Be forgiving to everyone and get good karma

6) Forgive, but not forget

7) Study at least 4 hours per day

8) Refrain from transmogrifying into The Ultimate Geek

9) Save my social life

10) Save my life

The Queen Wonders

2006-03-25T09:38:00.000Z

IB proves to be a social suicide. While everyone goes out merrily on the short days, I get stuck in school for Spanish lessons. Mierde. It's going to be even worse next week. Three times a week. Whoopeedoo. So, as you can see, Bri, I'm not being anti-social. Spanish lessons are being anti-me.

Have been rather down lately, what with all the horrendous school work, having to deal with a certain anal-retentive character, getting pressurized by the ring thing and not getting inspirations for my art works. Plus, I'm terribly tired of getting caught in the middle. It's totally flummoxing not knowing who to side and which way to go. It's killing me. But that's if I don't kill all the people around me first. So don't worry about me, I'm not having suicidal thoughts:D

To add on unkindly to my depressing mood, I've just received an email from Dam's Mom, informing me that he'd OD'ed and is currently lying in the hospital. I've never been really close to him but it's just upsetting to picture him in such a terrible situation. Meanwhile, Jez and Jul are still drinking to their hearts' content, ignoring my pleas to stop drinking so excessively. Alcohol is not the root of all evil. Addiction is. Please, my beloved pack of friends, cut down your alcohol consumption. Or you'll all die and I'll end up moaning at your graves every full moon night. Which is not exactly flattering for me, so don't make me do that because that'll be so heartless of you.

On a lighter note, I've decided to share my works with you guys.:) The above piece is entitled 'He said he loved me...'. This piece allows you to draw many different inferences and it won a DA contest. One of my favs:)

The Queen Gossips

2006-03-20T13:51:00.000Z

LATEST SCANDAL!!!

Pansy De La Flora, 16, is reported to be totally over her beau 'Benny Boy', who is a renowned life specimen used in the investigation of the social impacts of a human bean's vertical length, or lack thereof. The reason behind this Shakespearean tragedy is unsurprisingly the emergence of a third party- much taller and definitely much younger Someone (Have to be more discreet, lest some asshole come after me again). So, we see here, our little Miss De La Flora following the starry footsteps of some Hollywood celebrities by accessorising herself with a little boy toy. All for the sake of grabbing an upsized slice of superstardom? Or, is Miss De La Flora perhaps all tied up by the frivolous strings of love? You, my dear readers, shall decide for yourselves.

Meanwhile, 'Benny Boy' seems to be handling Miss De La Flora's change of height, oops sorry, I mean heart, pretty well. So far, there has been no complaints about him spraying cough syrup around maliciously, which I assume is a very pleasant sign. However, some people believe that "this is merely the beginning, before you know it, the Catastrophe of the Cough Syrup will hit us like a big yellow schoolbus and we'll all be turned into bananas!". Whoa, 'Benny Boy', you're one pitiful lovesick dude! Whatever happened to spring, when the world is mud-luscious and the little balloon man whistles far and wee? Miss De La Flora obviously does not have a single grain of romance in her.

Reminder: This publication is entirely a work of fiction. Any relevance to an actual event or person, living or dead, is purely a coincidence.

The Queen awakens

2006-03-19T13:48:00.000Z

In response to Bri's major concern with regards to my mental health, I hereby announce that I'm NOT harbouring any suicidal thoughts (yes Alexa, I hate to disappoint you). I totally withdraw my statement - "For life is a skank byotch...". Life is not a skank byotch. MSN messenger is. The reason behind my breakdown yesterday was due to the breakdown of MSN Messenger and deviantArt. For some unfathomable reasons, I can't log in to both. Had to resort to web messenger in the end. How depressing. I hated yesterday.

Well, before you yak on about how I am just throwing one of my tantrums, let me tell you what put the red little cherry on top of an extremely fabulous MSN-loves-screwing-me night. Although, I swear after you hear about what exactly happened, you'll totally believe that I'm the greatest klutz ever lived. And all I can say about that is, well, join the club.

After logging in to web messenger yesterday, I started pouring out my heart and soul into someone I thought was Aaron. And before you even think too deep about my previous sentence, NO, I WAS NOT CONFESSING MY PROFOUND LOVE FOR AARON. But it was, as usual, a session of whining and complaining about how sorrowful life can be. In this case, because of lousy MSN. Unsurprisingly because God loves drama, the someone, who I thought was Aaron, turned out to be someone else. It was an utter embarassment for me, considering who it turned out to be. I would have told you who Mr. Mystery is by now. If I haven't, chances are, you'll never get to know who it is. Now Rit, Huanqing, Pansy and Bri agree that Mr. Mystery probably suspects that I've got a huge crush on him, considering the 'intimate' 2-hour session.

Now, I'm seriously harbouring suicidal thoughts.

Frequently Asked Questions:

Q1) How could you not know who you were talking to in the first place?
A: Aaron and Mr. Mystery had similar MSN nicks, so I didn't bother to check the email address. Besides, Mr. Mystery initiated the conversation, so naturally I would think it's Aaron since I didn't expect Mr. Mystery to talk to me. We hardly even know each other.

Q2) How did you find out that it was Mr. Mystery, and not Aaron, you've been bullshitting to all along, in the end?
A: Firstly, Mr. Mystery apologised for taking so long to reply. If Aaron ever mentioned the word 'sorry', it'll be when Man starts selling hot dogs on the moon. Secondly, it finally dawned on me that Aaron didn't use to have an emoticon in his MSN nick, and Mr. Mystery had one. A weird one too. Thirdly, I checked the email and to my absolute shock, it wasn't Aaron but Mr. Mystery. Then, I died.

Q3) Why are you such a complete idiot?
A: Yeah, you can tell me why.

The Queen Dies

2006-03-18T14:05:00.000Z

Let's all be happy today. And wish that we shall all die tomorrow.

For life is a skank byotch that just can't stop toying with us.

Unsurprisingly, I'm giving it up.

The Queen Lives

2006-03-17T13:29:00.000Z

With Shroomy, Pansy and Bri gone, had to resort to having breakfast with dear Alexa and Soreso. The subject of our conversation eventually revolves around life. As Alexa yakked on about how her life has been beyond satisfactory now that she has found her calling as a trouble-making rebel, and how she'll willingly meet her Maker, after making Little Alexas (she still insists that mankind's sole purpose in this world is to procreate). Soreso pointed out that after Big Alexa makes Little Alexas, we'll all be meeting our Maker too, as the world will undoubtedly come to a tragic end. Alexa then promised him that one Big Alexa is all he'll need to meet his Maker if he doesn't shut up. Lol.

Then the entertaining pair rounded on me or rather, my life. I briefly whined about how my life has been a complete failure, how I tried but still can't find a cure for freakicitis to cure myself, how I can't even find the ladder of self-actualisation, let alone climb it and how the belief that I'm a specimen used in an extra-terrestial research to deduce the number of setbacks humanoids can handle before the aforementioned humanoid finally cracks and starts telling eveyone it's a broccoli, is firmly entrenched in my mind. Alexa and Soreso became concerned and agreed that I'm totally insane.

I love my friends. They keep me sane:)

The Queen speaks

2006-03-16T12:46:00.000Z

It's kinda weird writing in a blog. I mean, I'm not one of those people who are totally in touch with their inner emotions. They freak me out. My inner emotions, I mean. Not those people who are in touch with their emotions.

Soreso insisted that I have a blog of their own, because it's not healthy to keep my emotions to myself. So sweet of Soreso. But then again, I think it's because he's sick of me constantly writing the miniscule bits of nonsense in his blog. Well, I didn't ask him to accidentally reveal the password...

I guess having a blog will allow me to observe what a klutz I am, in a more 'conventional' manner. I used to stare at the ceiling every night, thinking about the day's events and laughing at myself with myself. Now, come to think about it, that's totally weird. Thank God, I've got a blog now. I can laugh at it instead. I'm quite sure that'll make me less weird. At least I hope.

Ooh, blogging reminds me of the wonderful days whereby my little cousin kept a diary. It was too irresistable to sneak a peek at those secret-filled (to be honest, it's more like cereal-filled) pages, even though there was always this strange odour that makes it irresistable to barf. I remember the very first entry: 'Dear Diary, Today I eat my friend, Jeremy in recess together. I bought chicken rice. Jeremy bought tuna sand-witch. Jeremy asks me why I always eat chicken. He says that someday, I will become a chicken.' [My apology for the nasty use of english; he was only 6]

I could never ever ever talk to my little cousin with a straight face from then on;)

Am off to think about life now. More later.